Albany Police Department Fucks Up

So, I'm normally a fan of APD.

They've got a couple of assholes on the force, but for the most part, the department is pretty damned good.

Then I see this:

Self-defense drill draws police response

By Carrie Petersen
Albany Democrat-Herald

A family vacation for Scott Turner, owner of Turner's Taekwondo Inc., came to a quick end when he received a call from one of his instructors saying his students, practicing gun self-defense, had just been handcuffed and held on the ground at gunpoint by Albany police.

"I thought they were joking," Turner said Thursday. But he soon realized there was truth to the story.

The students were detained briefly at the scene but then released with citations for disorderly conduct.

Turner, who says he has respect for the police department and understands why officers responded the way they did, doesn't understand why citations were issued.

According to an Albany police report, the department received one call from a driver on Queen Avenue reporting an armed disturbance at about 7 p.m. July 29, near the Four Seasons Car Wash, 1070 Queen Ave. S.E.

Police Capt. Ben Atchley said Friday the department may have received other calls as well.

What people saw, Turner said, was five students and an instructor participating in a martial arts exercise in an alley behind Karate For Kids, 1711 Hill St. S.E.

The students were practicing Krav Maga, a martial art that teaches, among other tactics, how to defend against someone approaching with a gun or knife, Turner explained.

The students, ages 17 to 45, were practicing with air soft guns, which were marked to signify they were unloaded or being used for practice, Turner said.

"Officers arrived on scene and observed people who appeared to have weapons in the back alley," Atchley said Friday.

The officers thought they had a possible robbery or gang activity, according to the police report.

The students and instructor were all ordered on the ground at gunpoint and handcuffed, according to the report.

Turner said that a 5-year-old girl, the daughter of one of the students, was patted down by police.

The report made no mention of that but did note that a child was found behind a Dumpster.

Five airsoft guns were seized by police, according to the report.

The officers learned that the activity was part of the Krav Maga class, but the supervising officer decided to issue a citation to all six people for disorderly conduct.

The citations were given because the activity, which could be seen from Queen Avenue S.E., "raised public alarm," Atchley said.

The department also used a tremendous amount of resources to respond to the activity, Atchley said.

If there was a major event occurring elsewhere in the city, Atchley said, the question is whether police would have been able to respond with only half the department available.

"By doing what they did, they diminished our ability to respond somewhere else," he said.

Turner understands why the police responded the way they did.

"Albany police did exactly what I would have expected them to do," Turner said. "I fully understand."

What Turner, and others in the class, don't understand is the citations.

Turner said his students are professionals in the community. "They are really good people. I have a lot of respect for them," he said.

When asked why all the students received citations and not just the instructor, Atchley said he wasn't there and that the decision was made by the supervising officer.

"I feel so bad for my students," Turner said. "If anyone has to get in trouble I would want it to be myself or the school."

He and the others in the class said they are hopeful the charges will be dismissed once they appear in Albany Municipal Court.

A conviction of disorderly conduct carries a maximum fine of $2,500 and maximum jail time of six months.

Turner has operated his martial arts business in Albany for 12 years.

During all that time, students have practiced tactics outside, Turner said.

The alley, with graffiti and wire fencing, gives students a different environment from the matted floors inside.

The irony, Turner pointed out, is that his students have probably never been in an alley at any other time in their lives.

Turner said officers have driven by at other times, and watched them or asked what was going on, but no one had ever been issued a citation or even been told to go inside.

Now several of his students have canceled their membership, Turner said. "I can't blame them."

He noted that one of the students originally came to his school because of its good reputation.

A call to the police department or signs in the alley stating that training was in session could have prevented the whole episode, Atchley said.

"There was no indication to us this was a training exercise."

Turner said he has not spoken with anyone at the police department since the incident.

And while martial arts classes continue as usual, outdoor exercises will be held inside until the incident is resolved, he said.

(Original Source)

So, yeah - no big deal about the response. They responded to a perceived threat. But citing all of the people involved?! Give me a goddamned break.

The city's attorney has since decided to drop the charges against the students, but is going to leave the charge against the instructor:

Training: City drops five charges

By Carrie Petersen
Albany Democrat-Herald

The Albany city attorney has decided to dismiss five of six disorderly-conduct charges issued after Albany police responded to self-defense training exercises that had been mistaken for an armed disturbance.

"I'm going to dismiss the charges against the students," City Attorney Jim Delapoer said Monday afternoon.

The self-defense instructor who was teaching the class, Christopher Lund of Jefferson, still faces a disorderly conduct charge.

Scott Turner, owner of Turner Taekwondo Inc., said Monday afternoon he was pleased with the decision to drop the charges against the students but still was concerned about the remaining charge against his instructor.

Six citations were issued July 29 after the five students, ages 17 to 45, and their instructor were seen practicing self-defense against someone with an airsoft gun in an alley behind Karate for Kids, 1711 Hill St. S.E.

At least one person driving past on Queen Avenue saw what appeared to be an armed disturbance and called 911.

Police responded with guns drawn. All the individuals were handcuffed on the ground and each one was given a citation for disorderly conduct.

Delapoer said after reviewing the case, he decided to dismiss the charges against the students because they "do not have the same level of culpability" as the instructor.

The charge of disorderly conduct will remain for the instructor, but Delapoer said he is willing to discuss a possible settlement or plea agreement.

"I feel very good for the five citizens, but I'm not feeling very comfortable about them wanting to pursue anything with my assistant instructor," said Turner.

He is hoping an agreement can be reached for Lund, whom he described is a "great person."

Lund said this morning that he has received some legal counsel and is hoping the charge will be dropped.

During the 12 years that Turner's Taekwondo Inc. has been in Albany, instructors have held training exercises outdoors. Lund wonders why now, all of a sudden, it's an issue.

Lund said people at the nearby car wash had been watching the class practice that evening and had no concerns until police arrived.

The situation created that evening was a dangerous one, Delapoer said in an interview.

Even though the students were using airsoft guns, if one of them had pointed it at police and an officer had shot a student, the shooting would have been justified, Delapoer said.

Also, if someone passing by with a concealed weapons permit thought a gun was being pointed at them, it's possible that person could have shot the student without violating the law, Delapoer said.

He has spoken with Turner and requested three things if the outdoor training continues: to prominently display signs where the class is being held. to paint the airsoft guns red, which traditionally signifies a training weapon. And three, to notify police 48 hours before the outdoor training will be held.

"Those three things we can comply with," said Turner, who is planning to continue again with outdoor training.

(Original Source)

So, you know, better than nothing, but it's still asinine. The alley is not public property, no laws were being broken, and it was a toy gun with a red/orange painted muzzle, in compliance with laws.

People were gathered around watching, so it was pretty fucking obvious it wasn't a criminal incident.

The city had no law against it, and had not discussed any procedures with the school in the past - in fact, officers of the police department had, in the past, driven by multiple times, even stopped to enquire as to what was happening - it was a known thing!

I cannot believe...aw, fuck it.

How about I let the citizens of Albany speak?

• I really had to laugh about the front-page article in the Democrat-Herald (Aug. 6) about the police busting all the people in the self-defense class. My wife and my mother-in-law were on their way to a wedding that evening when they were caught up in all the police cars responding to the "incident" involving the martial arts training.

  The article said it took officers away from other police duties. Why? Once the officer in charge had assessed the situation they should have called off the rest, but cops being cops (God bless them) are adrenaline junkies and all seem to have to flow to the excitement no matter what it is.
  
  I am planning on forwarding the newspaper article to the writers of Reno 911 to evaluate for a new episode.

  Michael L. Mathers, Albany

• For more than half of my life, I have been a student of Mr. Turner's at Karate for Kids. Not only does he teach us how to defend ourselves, but to have respect for others as well as ourselves. Discipline, self-confidence, and honesty are also very important.

  I understand that the police were just doing their jobs when they responded to the complaint, but Mr. Turner's students weren't doing anything wrong, and I don't think they should have gotten in trouble. They were only learning how to protect themselves in a realistic environment.

  So many people's lives have been influenced in a positive way, myself included, by Mr. Turner's teachings. I know lots of people who have grown up to become upstanding citizens in the community thanks to him. Maybe from now on the police can know ahead of time when the students will be practicing outside the school so there isn't all the confusion. This was a misunderstanding. There was no disorderly conduct, the citations are unnecessary, and the charges should be dismissed.

  Lindsey Bohard, 15 , Albany

• Let's see if I have this right. This spring paint is splashed on walls at our local college campus. The Albany police are called in and take the report and leave. Security guards track the footprints to a local apartment and the criminals are caught. But in broad daylight a group of law-abiding citizens practicing self-defense are arrested at gunpoint. I feel safe. Do you?

  Steve Nofziger, Tangent

• I just read about the response of the obviously poorly trained officers writing citations to children who were in fact participating in an extracurricular activity! You know, one of those idiotic things that kids participate in to stay out of trouble!

  I am absolutely amazed and appalled that any police administration would allow their officers to go unpunished for this ridiculous display of civil-rights infringement.

  If these poor people that were cited actually have to pay one penny, I personally will send them a small contribution to satiate this horrid injustice.

  There are real crimes being committed on a daily basis. For example, Albany has an improbable amount of meth around because of our poor local economy, yet instead of seeing that these children were under adult supervision in an educational situation and quickly leaving to handle real problems, they searched a 5-year-old girl after pointing their guns at children and then handcuffing them.

  Our tax dollars hard at work, proving that we should pay much less in taxes to get our money's worth.

  David Whippo, Albany

• My son spent two years at Karate for Kids, earning his first-degree black belt under Scott Turner's instruction. I have the utmost respect for Mr. Turner and his program. It emphasizes respect for authority, respect for others, and respect for self. I have recommended his program in the past, and will continue to do so in the future. Knowing what I know about his program, and the instructors he has teaching there, I was very concerned about the police response to the recent incident behind the school.

  I understand why someone would have called the police — that makes sense. What I can't understand is that when the situation was explained to the police, citations were issued.

  This was not a situation out of control; this was a situation misunderstood. At no time was it unruly or threatening to anyone.

  The police captain's suggestion of posting a sign of the activity's nature was a good one. But leave it at that. With all the real problems going on in Albany, this just seems like making an example of an honest businessman for the sake of PR.

  Surely the Albany police have better things to do than to push this through the court system and waste taxpayer money.

  Kasey Tegner, Albany

• Students and instructor arrested and given disorderly conduct tickets! Policeman runs stoplight and hits poor little old lady, but no citation issued! Go figure.

  Ben Scheele, Albany

• I was washing my Jeep last Friday night (July 29) at that car wash place behind the karate school. Me and a friend were watching the guys training. It looked pretty cool and fun. You could so tell it was a class, they had a guy telling them what to do. They all wore the same clothes, goggles, handwraps, and stuff.

  Everyone at the car wash was smiling and interested in what they were doing. I was going to ask them for a card or something when the cops came in and started yelling to get down. One turned to us and told us to get back, so I decided to leave.
  
  The cops were really freaking me out. I thought someone was going to die. I wish they had looked before they pulled their guns out. It was a kind of scary. I went back later and finished washing my Jeep.

  Anyways, I am glad to see the cops dropped their charges. I think the APD might gain my Dad's respect back. He says APD stands for Always Poor Decisions. I laugh, but I want to be an officer some day (I am 17 now, so soon). Looks like things are going to be OK for everyone. I am also thinking about joining the Krav Maga. It looked like great training!

  Jalen Montgomery, Albany

• What an unfortunate incident involving Scott Turner's Taekwondo class and the Albany police. In this day and age there is no way you can blame the police for responding the way they did. The days of being nonchalant about such a situation are long gone. It's true, the whole thing could have been avoided with a phone call to law enforcement or a sign at the end of the alley. Hopefully, a judge will see the whole thing as a terrible misunderstanding and dismiss the charges.

  I would, however, like you all to know one other thing. Our daughter, Kara, recently received her first-degree black belt from the school in Lebanon, run by Mr. John Patton. Knowing John and Scott both, I can assure you all that these two gentlemen are consummate professionals beyond reproach. They are both producing citizens that our communities can be proud of. Please do not let this happening give you hesitance about sending your child or even yourself to their outstanding schools.

  Mr. Turner and Mr. Patton are two more people that make our communities strong and a better place to live. We need more individuals like them.

  Doug Klinkebiel, Lebanon

• The story on Aug. 9, "Training: City drops five charges," refers to lawful activities by law-abiding citizens on private property. It ends in a summary of what the city will require in the future to prevent misunderstandings by law enforcement.

  I believe the training that should be brought into question is that of law enforcement itself. According to your published reports, a Keystone-type assault was made with little prior surveillance and with no discernible regard for the safety of possible hostages.

  The political leadership of Albany needs to clear the air surrounding this incident by ordering that independent experts conduct a thorough review of police procedures.

  Public safety must be made the first priority.

  David Clem, Albany

Of course, there's always one dipshit in the town:

I am writing in response to the article "Self-defense drill draws police response" in the Aug. 6 paper. I would like to commend the police department for their response to the disturbance in the alley.

I feel it was very irresponsible of the martial arts school not to contact the police beforehand and let them know that something like this would be taking place.

I think it rather foolish to have someone practice what appears to be fighting in an alley. They must not have considered what such an activity would have appeared to be to the public.

Perhaps in the future they might want to keep the practice inside, for the benefit of the students and the public.

Deanna Vogel, Albany

Get a clue, bitch - the activity had been being performed in the alley for quite some time. It was on private property. Albany Police were familiar with the activity, as they had, on multiple occasions, stopped to observe and enquire as to what was occuring.

I have zero problem to them responding to a call in which the uninformed caller most likely reported as a fight involving firearms.

I do take issue with their actions once they discovered what was going on. If APD finally decides they have an issue with it, then ask that certain guidelines be met, like the posting of a sign, 48-hour notice to APD, and painting the gun orange - ALL OF WHICH WERE AGREED TO WITHOUT ARGUMENT, once they were actually requested.

Apparently APD has assigned all of the assholes to one shift, with all of the reasonable and intelligent officers and staff on other shifts.

Methamphetamines = Chemical Weapons?!

Now, I'm all for smacking down drug dealers, and giving them harsher sentences. But, the way these Gestapo fucks are going about it is frightening.

New Terror Laws Used Vs. Common Criminals

By DAVID B. CARUSO
Associated Press Writer

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- In the two years since law enforcement agencies gained fresh powers to help them track down and punish terrorists, police and prosecutors have increasingly turned the force of the new laws not on al-Qaida cells but on people charged with common crimes.

The Justice Department said it has used authority given to it by the USA Patriot Act to crack down on currency smugglers and seize money hidden overseas by alleged bookies, con artists and drug dealers.

Federal prosecutors used the act in June to file a charge of "terrorism using a weapon of mass destruction" against a California man after a pipe bomb exploded in his lap, wounding him as he sat in his car.

A North Carolina county prosecutor charged a man accused of running a methamphetamine lab with breaking a new state law barring the manufacture of chemical weapons. If convicted, Martin Dwayne Miller could get 12 years to life in prison for a crime that usually brings about six months.

Prosecutor Jerry Wilson says he isn't abusing the law, which defines chemical weapons of mass destruction as "any substance that is designed or has the capability to cause death or serious injury" and contains toxic chemicals.

Civil liberties and legal defense groups are bothered by the string of cases, and say the government soon will be routinely using harsh anti-terrorism laws against run-of-the-mill lawbreakers.

"Within six months of passing the Patriot Act, the Justice Department was conducting seminars on how to stretch the new wiretapping provisions to extend them beyond terror cases," said Dan Dodson, a spokesman for the National Association of Criminal Defense Attorneys. "They say they want the Patriot Act to fight terrorism, then, within six months, they are teaching their people how to use it on ordinary citizens."

Prosecutors aren't apologizing.

Attorney General John Ashcroft completed a 16-city tour this week defending the Patriot Act as key to preventing a second catastrophic terrorist attack. Federal prosecutors have brought more than 250 criminal charges under the law, with more than 130 convictions or guilty pleas.

The law, passed two months after the Sept. 11 attacks, erased many restrictions that had barred the government from spying on its citizens, granting agents new powers to use wiretaps, conduct electronic and computer eavesdropping and access private financial data.

Stefan Cassella, deputy chief for legal policy for the Justice Department's asset forfeiture and money laundering section, said that while the Patriot Act's primary focus was on terrorism, lawmakers were aware it contained provisions that had been on prosecutors' wish lists for years and would be used in a wide variety of cases.

In one case prosecuted this year, investigators used a provision of the Patriot Act to recover $4.5 million from a group of telemarketers accused of tricking elderly U.S. citizens into thinking they had won the Canadian lottery. Prosecutors said the defendants told victims they would receive their prize as soon as they paid thousands of dollars in income tax on their winnings.

Before the anti-terrorism act, U.S. officials would have had to use international treaties and appeal for help from foreign governments to retrieve the cash, deposited in banks in Jordan and Israel. Now, they simply seized it from assets held by those banks in the United States.

"These are appropriate uses of the statute," Cassella said. "If we can use the statute to get money back for victims, we are going to do it."

The complaint that anti-terrorism legislation is being used to go after people who aren't terrorists is just the latest in a string of criticisms.

More than 150 local governments have passed resolutions opposing the law as an overly broad threat to constitutional rights.

Critics also say the government has gone too far in charging three U.S. citizens as enemy combatants, a power presidents wield during wartime that is not part of the Patriot Act. The government can detain such individuals indefinitely without allowing them access to a lawyer.

And Muslim and civil liberties groups have criticized the government's decision to force thousands of mostly Middle Eastern men to risk deportation by registering with immigration authorities.

"The record is clear," said Ralph Neas, president of the liberal People for the American Way Foundation. "Ashcroft and the Justice Department have gone too far."

Some of the restrictions on government surveillance that were erased by the Patriot Act had been enacted after past abuses - including efforts by the FBI to spy on civil rights leaders and anti-war demonstrators during the Cold War. Tim Lynch, director of the Project on Criminal Justice at the Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank, said it isn't far fetched to believe that the government might overstep its bounds again.

"I don't think that those are frivolous fears," Lynch said. "We've already heard stories of local police chiefs creating files on people who have protested the (Iraq) war ... The government is constantly trying to expand its jurisdictions, and it needs to be watched very, very closely."

Weren't we told that the Patriot Act wouldn't be misused, and wouldn't give new powers to law enforcement that affect how they do their day-to-day business?

Yeah. Right.

Bye bye, more civil rights!

U.S. Seeks Expansion of Terror Subpoenas

By CURT ANDERSON
Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) -- To aid the fight against terrorism, the Bush administration wants to add a subpoena power that does not require federal investigators to seek approval from a judge or grand jury.

Justice Department officials say use of "administrative subpoenas" would enable the FBI to obtain information from records or witnesses that might more quickly prevent a terror strike. Critics say the extension of power is unnecessary and would permit investigations with no judicial supervision.

"It's just a grab for more and more power," said Gerald Lefcourt, a New York attorney and past president of the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers. "They want to do things that they know a judge won't approve of."

Legislation authorizing the new power would require that the person getting the subpoena in national security cases keep that information secret from nearly everyone except his lawyer. Anyone who did disclose the existence of the subpoena could be charged with a crime and put in prison for up to five years.

President Bush pressed Congress last week to unshackle law enforcement by adding terrorism to the list of investigations in which administrative subpoenas can be used. They already are used often in health care fraud, child sex abuse and other cases.

Bush also wants lawmakers to expand the federal death penalty to cover more terror-related offenses and make terror suspects ineligible for release on bond.

The proposals quickly became known as "Patriot II" on Capitol Hill, a sequel to the Patriot Act passed shortly after the 2001 terror attacks. That law expanded government surveillance capabilities, toughened criminal penalties and removed a legal barrier that for years prevented information-sharing between intelligence agencies and criminal investigators and prosecutors.

The centerpiece of the new plan is the administrative subpoena, which Congress already has authorized for other cases. More than 4,000 of these subpoenas were issued by federal prosecutors in 2001, the latest year for which figures are available.

"For the sake of the American people, Congress should change the law and give law enforcement officials the same tools they have to fight terror that they have to fight other crime," Bush said in a speech last week.

The legislation, introduced by Rep. Tom Feeney, R-Fla., a day before Bush's speech, would enable prosecutors to use the administrative subpoena to elicit testimony from witnesses and require a person or business to produce "books, papers, documents, electronic data" or other evidence deemed necessary in a terrorism investigation.

Opponents say the Justice Department already has numerous legal tools to obtain records and compel witnesses to talk, including grand jury subpoenas that are routinely and easily issued by federal prosecutors. The FBI uses national security letters to require businesses to turn over a wide range of records in counterterror and counterintelligence investigations.

Also available in international terror probes is the secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act warrant, including an emergency FISA warrant approved personally by Attorney General John Ashcroft, that provides a 72-hour window for wiretapping or eavesdropping before review by a secret court.

Timothy Edgar, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union, said the administrative subpoena gives the Justice Department "the power to get records from groups or individuals without any court supervision at all. This directly impacts on the privacy of citizens."

Justice officials counter that a business or individual can refuse to comply with an administrative subpoena, which would force prosecutors to convince a judge that the information is needed for an investigation. They also say the subpoenas provide immunity from lawsuits for businesses who would otherwise willingly disclose sensitive information about customers or clients.

In addition, prosecutors say grand jury subpoenas often order evidence to be turned over within a specified time. Administrative subpoenas require the evidence to be produced on the spot.

The fate of the proposals in Congress is uncertain.

A growing number of Democrats and Republicans have expressed skepticism about the existing Patriot Act powers and may be reluctant to give the Justice Department more. The administration also runs a risk that opponents could try to rescind some existing powers during debate.

"Many in Congress this time will be wary of writing any more blank checks for this administration without more accountability," said Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont, senior Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee.

You know, Leahy has scared me on some issues, but he was right up there with the EFF, fighting the Communications Decency Act, and other anti-First Amendment stuff. I can't agree with everything this guy does (especially when it comes to the Second Amendment), but he ain't all bad.

This Patriot Act bullshit has gone on long enough.

Hope you aren't ever a defendant!

So, the "Portland Seven", seven dipshits who were charged last year with "plotting to fight U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan" are doing the court routine.

THIRTY-SIX secret warrants were issued last year to allow FBI and other federal agents to intercept 271 conversations, and to bug the home of at least one of the defendants.

The U.S. Attorney General's office has asked a federal judge to prohibit the defendants from viewing evidence used to obtain the secret warrants, citing national security concerns.

Is this not a crock of shit? I can't believe it's even acceptable to request this, and not be imprisoned for treason, let alone allowing this travesty of justice to proceed.

OK, you're under arrest. OK, we're charging you. OK, you're at trial. Nope. You can't see any evidence, you're going to have to base your defense on absolutely nothing. Have a nice time in the federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

Un-fucking-believable.

US AG's office defends secret warrants in Portland Seven case

PORTLAND - The U.S. Attorney General's office has asked a federal judge to prohibit the Portland Seven defendants from viewing evidence used to obtain secret warrants, citing national security concerns.
The 36 secret warrants allowed FBI and other federal agents to intercept 271 conversations and bug the Portland-area home of at least one of the seven defendants.

Charged last year with plotting to fight U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan, the defendants filed a motion Aug. 1 to suppress the evidence gathered with the secret court approvals.

They say using such evidence without giving them the ability to review and challenge the justification for the intrusions violates the due-process clause of the U.S. Constitution, among other things.

Prosecutors disagree, and U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft has asked U.S. District Judge Robert Jones to review the materials in secret and to rule whether the government's requests to the secret court were justified.

Ashcroft's insertion into the case isn't a surprise because it's required by statute.

But it illustrates the power the federal government has and is willing to use to investigate suspected terrorism by Americans. It comes when debate about the expanded domestic spying powers granted by the USA Patriot Act is raging across the country.

Critics, both conservative and liberal, have criticized the government's post-9/11 tactics as infringing on privacy rights and personal freedoms long protected by the U.S. Constitution.

Lawyers for defendants have argued the secret warrants violated their clients' right to privacy.

Earlier, Jones had ruled that the basis for the warrants could remain secret.

Secret warrants have been in used by the FBI since 1978 for counterespionage work, such as monitoring foreign spies, but are specifically banned from criminal prosecutions. Their use was expanded to criminal cases under the Patriot Act.

The FBI says the secret warrants allow the agency to share intelligence information with criminal investigators in terrorism cases, and has stepped up use of the warrants since Sept. 11.

The legal challenge to this portion of the Patriot Act is farther along in Portland than elsewhere, legal experts have said, and may become a test case in appellate courts for the anti-terrorism legislation.

(Copyright 2003 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

And someone said that I'm a raging conservative. Didn't I tell you that I'm a political gray-area?